This sweet boy sent me an email apologizing for not having the time or money to call me lately so to make it up to me I asked him to jot down some of my best qualities. I'm hoping this is just the rough draft, but I figured he would want to see his words in print.
Here are some random thoughts I wrote just now:
In the days following our conversations, I find her words echoing in my
mind, altering how I feel and who I am in the direction of her choosing.
She helped me face the fact that every girl I've ever dated cheated on me
left and right, and to understand exactly why, even using their full names
(including middle names!) to hammer it home.
She provided an objective and critical view of my anatomy which has left me
feeling completely horrible about myself, and fully agreeing with women's
negative appraisal of what I have and what I am.
I now realize that my chronic masturbation isn't just a phase, but a life
condition. Thanks to Autumn, I'm now trying to cope with this reality.
Autumn is easily the cleverest girl I’ve ever had the pleasure of speaking
to. What she isn’t is nice. Instead, she’s used her intelligence and
creativity to methodically and very sadistically dismantle my psyche,
rearranging it in a way that amuses her while crippling me. I’ll never be
“okay” again, and I don’t want to be. All I want is for Autumn to chop me up
into even finer pieces.
These are just some of the wonderful things Autumn has done to me.
Autumn is everything to me, I'm nothing to her, and this is as it should be.
Love Always,
Totally Into Men
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